Discovering A New Perspective
Healing happens on all levels. Working with and channeling Reiki energy for others has shown me over and over how powerful it is to allow the energy to heal on the emotional, energetic and soul levels as well as the physical.
I recently saw a woman, we'll call her Ellen (not her real name) who came to me because she was having a hard time with a recent break up. During our conversation she shared the challenges she was experiencing coming to terms with the relationship. The man she was seeing was extremely manipulative. She knew this yet still felt drawn to him. She really wanted to know why he is this way and didn't understand why her attempts to explain how she felt to him never seemed to make a difference.
As soon as she sat down in the chair across from me, I was told to tell her, "Your anxiety is causing your health issues". She admitted that indeed she had been to the emergency room with stomach pains and then with heart concerns recently but the doctors couldn't find anything physically wrong with her.
During her Reiki session a lot was revealed. As I'm working as a conduit for the energy, I'm sensing where to place my hands, what part of the body and auric field to work on, etc. Often as I'm doing this I "see/know" what's going on with different parts of their physical and energetic body. And sometimes I get information or messages to share with them.
Some messages are very clear, but often I get information that seems random or incomplete but I always jot it down and pass it on to the client. I leave it up to them to make sense of it and decide if it applies to them.
The first thing I got was about the "Women in her family" and I was told to ask her "What did you witness?"
I felt a deep sense of guilt in her heart chakra (literally felt in in my body) and was told she's having a hard time with the boyfriend because she "can't push him away because of guilt".
I felt "anger with the past or childhood" is still affecting her.
I was told (I don't usually literally hear the words, but sense/know them) that she desperately wants to neutralize him (the boyfriend), understand him and find reasons for the illogical and hurtful things he does. Through explaining herself and trying to reason with him, she wants to change his mind and hear him say, "oh yes, that makes sense, you're right. I was wrong, I'm sorry."
I was told her ask her "what is familiar in him?"
I was shown that she is a "keeper of the gardens" and that she should continue to listen to earth and nature. (Before the Reiki session when we were still talking, I saw many sprite or fairy lights around her head and shoulders - they often appear to me like little flashes of color - usually blue or white - hers were blue). During her Reiki session they conveyed that they are thanking her for her work with the plants and hold her in high regard.
Then suddenly I felt the energy of her grandmother. It came through very strongly. There was no question who this was - she told me "I was always with her, I was always with her". I could feel her energy and was able to describe her personality and demeanor to Ellen after the session.
I was asked to relay to her, "Your guides are ready when you are" - meaning they are there for her, listening and ready to step in to help her at any time.
Here's what she revealed afterwards. The women in her family were very passive and she watched her father physically and emotionally abuse her mother from the time she was young. Later, she went to live with her grandmother, who was her primary caregiver from that point forward.
She became emotional when I conveyed the message from her grandmother and admitted that her she was always by her side and apparently continues to be with her even after her passing. I did not know her grandmother cared for her or had passed until we chatted at the end of her session.
She admitted that her boyfriend "made her feel guilty when she tried to set boundaries" and often accused her of being selfish. No matter what she said to him he would turn it around, which left her constantly explaining and reasoning with him to no avail. When I asked her "what is familiar in him" she thought for a moment and with astonishment she said that he acts just like her father but without the physical abuse element. She kept saying, "it's just like my parents". Sometimes when the details and circumstances are different we don't see the obvious parallels. But what we find is that it often "feels" the same, or evokes the same emotions.
Regarding her being a "keeper of the gardens", she said she LOVES plants and has a large garden, cares for many indoor plants and often talks to them.
Ellen was able to make sense of all of the messages I got for her and began to see where the energy of being a victim or not having a voice has been playing out in her life for years through a variety of circumstances and individuals. All with different scenarios but with eerily similar feelings and outcomes. She loved that her guides, fairies and grandmother came through to support her.
Her new perspective has given her the confidence to begin to decide how she wants to feel moving forward and is working on creating effective boundaries as she learns to trust herself rather than looking to others for approval.
I share this story because I can relate to it and I think many of us can. Those of us who are sensitive to the energies of others can really struggle to set appropriate boundaries, especially family members and those we care deeply about. This tendency can be compounded by early experiences that didn't support healthy boundary setting and often encouraged passive behavior.